Friday, August 21, 2015

Geography Fail

Aila:"You're going to Atlanta? Isn't that super cold and snowy?" 
Dad: "Um, that's Antarctica."

Thursday, August 13, 2015


"Pain is all in your head. And sometimes in your foot."

Sunday, May 3, 2015

Similar....but not really

"Aila...I think you mean you need a FUNNEL...not a URINAL."

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

That's not a good name

"When I have kids, they should call Daddy a name that combines  'Grandpa' and the Dutch name 'Opa'. 

How about 'Gropa'!!?? "

Um, no. 

Sunday, December 28, 2014

Shortest Ever!

*during a warm spell in Decemeber*
"Wow! That was the shortest winter ever!!!!"

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Out think? Or....

"Tooting is my super power... I can out-stink my enemies."

Saturday, May 10, 2014

Pot. Kettle. Black

"Don't get me wrong....I love you and all, Mommy...but you're crazy."

Sunday, March 30, 2014

That's kinda weird

I'm thinking of adding a new letter to the alphabet. It will be called "nasal".

Friday, March 28, 2014

Ugly Teachers

"Mommy, I bet that the reason you had so many piano students when you taught music was because you were so good-looking. I'll bet ugly teachers have a hard time getting students." 

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Bad influences

"Mommy! I just heard you say the word 'ass'."

*stern look* 

"Have you been hanging around GANGSTERS?"

Monday, March 10, 2014

The Elderly

*sigh* "Why are all the best things made for the elderly?!?"

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Too Full

*after answering her question as to "why things are cheaper at Walmart than other places" with great economic detail

"Wow. That was a long answer. I think you'll need to stop talking now. My brain feels like overstuffed drawers."

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

You'd be a millionaire

"I wish there was a machine that could make you think like me."

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Fun words

"I just really love saying the word 'constipated'."

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Just don't.

Aila, please don't refer to yourself as "Aila-licious"

Friday, October 18, 2013


"Mommy, I'm too thirsty to laugh at your jokes right now/"

Thursday, October 17, 2013


"Aila, it is pronounced Naples, Florida… not 'Nipples', Florida"

Wednesday, October 16, 2013


"You gotta really keep an eye on NEVER know what they're up to. (Trust me...I watch a lot of TV)"


"Daddy, I didn't say you LOOK like a fat zombie, only that you WALK like one."


"Did you know that only eggs from the USA and Canada need to be refrigerate? Those Europeans: They sure know what they're doing!"

Curse Words

"No, Aila...'denim' is not a curse word"

Sunday, August 25, 2013

You're safe

"You don't have to be afraid of a Sasquatch…they're shy and they only eat people on special occasions."

Friday, August 23, 2013

Natural Talent

"BURRRRRPPPP!!! And I've never had a lesson!"

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Not likely

"What kinda stuff will this new baby Prince do? Like, will he visit my school?"

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

A New Prince

"George? They named him GEORGE? Sounds like a jungle name."

Monday, July 1, 2013

Quarters and loonies

"Daddy, can I hold that change you have?  I like the rich feeling I get inside when I hold a pile of money!" (we all feel that way, darlin!)

Monday, June 17, 2013

After learning about 'generations'

"Um, no Aila. I'm not going to refer to you as 'Aila the First'."

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

More than once a day

"When I turn 40, can I say the word "crap" as many times a day as I want?"

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Just like you

*while talking to her Dad*

"Parts of my personality are like Mommy, and parts of me are like you. Like, when I don't 'get' a joke…that's from you, right Daddy?"

Friday, March 22, 2013

Trying out newly learned words

If you look up the word "astonishing" in the dictionary… I'll bet it will show a picture of you, Daddy!

Monday, February 25, 2013

more trust issues


Mom:"Aila, isn't this bedding cool?"
Aila: "No. I don't trust IKEA. I'll bet it's secretly covered in bad words"

Friday, February 22, 2013

interesting rating system

"I rate that movie 78 out of 107"

she's so polite!

"It's not nice to call someone old. I prefer to call them 'past-a-kid's-age'"

Thursday, January 31, 2013

That just sounds wrong

"That bus has a really big gas-hole"

(she meant the exhaust pipe!)

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

so far so good

"So's your first day of being 39 going so far?"

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Move over, Mom!

"I've decided what I want to be when I grow up. I want to be a book designer like you, Mommy. the way, you're gonna need a bigger office if I'm gonna fit my desk in here..."

Monday, January 7, 2013

Ready for my close up...

"I think I'd like to be a kid-actor. long will it be till I get my own show?"

Monday, December 17, 2012

When you just need to be alone...

"Aila...the term is 'me-time' not 'meat-time'."

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Christmas lists

I'm gonna give you 3 lists for Christmas:

1) things I DON'T want for Christmas
2) things I want but know I'll never get and
3) things I want that I think you'll go for


*sigh* Oh Daddy...I wish we were rich so we could afford to grow you some hair

Wednesday, October 10, 2012


"If you eat too much beef jerky, will you get drunk?"

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Just when you thought things couldn't get worse...

Aila: "This is the worse day EVER!"
Me: "Why's that?"
Aila: Well...first, my teacher is moving classes, and I really loved her!
Second, I'm pretty sure I broke up with my boyfriend....
And third, I think I'm coming down with leprosy!!!"

Sunday, August 12, 2012

He's not singing

That guy isn't really singing...he's lip-sticking.

Tuesday, July 31, 2012


*While holding a video camera*

"Do you think you and Daddy can have an argument? There's nothing I like videoing more than a good argument!!!"

Art lover

Daddy, who painted the "Momma Lisa"?

Monday, July 16, 2012

In the grocery store

"Eweee....these vegetables smell like a pioneer outhouse!"

Friday, June 22, 2012

That was Expensive

Aila is prone to breaking down in tears over pretty much anything. So when the time came for her big sister (age 12) to babysit her for the first time, there was some concern that Aila would start 'freaking out' (as Anneka put it) and that in turn would freak Anneka out...not knowing what to do with a very emotional little sister.

The solution was simple.

We paid Anneka to babysit.
and we paid Aila not to cry (and to behave).

It worked.

(ps...we no longer pay either child)

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Ye royal Parts

*Aila was watching TV, and as Jason walked by he gently squeezed her foot*

Aila: "Hey! Hands off the royal feet!"

NOT alcohol

*while trying to remember the word 'melatonin' for a grocery list*

Yvonne: "Jason, what's the name of that stuff that helps me fall asleep?"
Aila: "Alcohol?"

(note: I don't drink because when I do, it makes me fall asleep!)

Sunday, June 17, 2012


"The best part about taking a shower is that the steam loosens up all my boogers!"